![]() ![]() ![]() Finally, yesterday, just as I was about to press the bracket key to archive the latest yoga spam, I paused, decided to scroll down to the bottom of the page, clicked "unsubscribe," and now I'll never receive another email from that studio again. This resulted in me having to delete 4,000 promotional emails from that yoga studio over the past two years. During my brief and ill-fated yoga phase a couple years ago, after one session the instructor was talking about being present and breathing and all these things I don't do, and then he said he had this mailing list and I was like, "This guy knows shit and I know nothing" and I signed up. I ended up using some feminine body scrub to wash my hair and smelled like apricots and lilacs for the rest of the day.ģ) Why I don't just unsubscribe from all the trash-mail that I get. This is not to mention the several bizarre objects I assumed you were supposed to use to apply the various potions on the shelf. I fumbled through dozens of healing body washes, pore-invigorating fruit scrubs, moisturizing conditioners (no idea what conditioner does) and other creepy products-and no shampoo. "Good," I thought, "it'll be easy to find normal shampoo on this shelf to wash my hair." When I used her shower, I noticed that there were about 30 bottles on the shelf. I was out of town last week and stayed in the apartment of a female friend. Either way, going from pole to pole each year is not the answer.Ģ) What the hell is going on in a girl's shower. Then go 1,000 miles of latitude away and you'll be fine. Maybe each pole gets too cold in the winter. If you stop the 22,000 miles of commuting each year, you'll have plenty of time to suss out all the best locations. Really? It's that important which pole you breed on? I'm sure you can find a place on the eating pole to rear your young. Maybe it's better to breed at the other pole. Okay, great- then just stay at that pole. Maybe there's more food on one of the poles. This would be like finding an office in downtown Manhattan for $1,300/month, but then deciding to commute every day to San Francisco, where I found an office on an identical-looking street for $1,300/month. They fly about 11,000 miles from their breeding grounds in the Arctic to their winter home in Antarctica.Ĭhampions? Champions of what-horrible decision-making? They're not even changing their climate. It would be like me commuting from New York to Richmond every day for work because I found a good deal on an office there.Īrctic terns are the champions of long distance migration. There's no explanation for going farther than that. Every climate possible exists in between. If it's a matter of going from one climate to another, there's no reason to go that far-the North Pole is 6,000 miles away from the equator. So I've always wondered what birds' issue is and why they need to migrate like 10,000 miles twice a year. We tried on all sorts of outfits, and this is where we ended up.Īnd what better way to commemorate things than yet another list of things that I don't get.ġ) What the arctic tern's problem is. Yes, I was an very bad place yesterday when I decided to spend a significant amount of time in Blogger's settings, giving my little pixel of the internet a makeover. You know I've been in an especially dark pit of procrastination whenever this blog has a new look. ![]()
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